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Worst Names for a Strip Club




Hitler Loves Poles
Up Yours

Secrets revealed in the Gospel of Judas

Jesus had a third nipple
Don’t believe the Da Vinci Code
Thirty pieces of silver went quite a way in Judea back in 33
Matthew was a narc
The Virgin Mary was a m.i.l.f.

Part-time jobs for rap stars

Collecting scrap metal
Speech therapist
Undercover in the Mafia

Things not to do on a rugby field

Play hide and seek
Take a dive and roll around four times
Reveal your membership in the National Front
Streak with clothes on

Things that confuse us about soup

Is it a food or a drink?
Can it be converted back into a solid vegetable?
Isn’t gazpacho soup just bean pudding?
Why is chicken soup yellow?
Could diarrhoea technically be considered soup?

Bad things to find in a locker room

A glory hole
Pack of wild dogs
Soap with ground magnets
Pictures of porn in the shower

New mascots for the Hurricanes

Alvin the Asthma Inhaler
Saladin the Crusader Conqueror
Captain Cake Icing
Herbie the Happy Homo
Jerry the Pisser

Things you don’t want to see in the mirror

A moustache
The faint outline of a team of psychologists/prosecutors
No reflection at all
Old age
A pair of feet sticking out from under the bed

Ways in which your parents fucked you up

By videotaping the time they first caught you masturbating
By deep-frying all your salads
By leaving you behind
By telling you they regret the adoption every time you forget to do the dishes
By getting you to chronicle their attempt of having another child

Insights about Zinedine Zidane’s headbutt

It probably wasn’t the best time to react after 34 years of racial abuse
It was a fucking good headbutt
Those I-ties are a bunch of greasy pizza eating fascists
Violence doesn’t belong in a sport played by pansies
How cool a name is “Zinedine Zidane”?