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Why starve when you can get free food?

Paul Brown



Well here I sit feeling miserable from the cold and flu, ready to write Salient article number two for the term. Being so ill, I wondered what I could possibly write about… and then it hit me like the sight of Geoff Hayward dressed as Billy T James on what can only be called a freezing day. I need to write about how to get food! Today at VUWSA we’ve already given away a tonne of food parcels to students struggling with the winter financial blues. To look at me you’d think I’ve never gone hungry a day in my life, and you’re right. I’m a fat bastard who knows where to get a good meal, so let me share that knowledge with you!
As I’ve already mentioned, your Students’ Association can supply you with a food parcel.
This is full of basics like flour, sugar, cereal, pasta and a few canned goodies—we even give you soap so you can shower! How many food parcels are you entitled to from VUWSA I hear you ask? Well, the answer is three, but should you need more we can give you some, but the application process will include a few additional questions—the process is painless, I assure you. We generally go through over three hundred food parcels a year so there’s obviously plenty of demand.
VUWSA isn’t the only place you can go to get food from – you can also go to Studylink for a food grant. Again I hear you asking, how many am I entitled to? Well, you’re entitled to $200 worth of grants, but they have been known to give out more to the desperately needy. So all you need to do is give Studylink a ring and set up an appointment so they can assess your need. You’ll be asked if there have been any unexpected costs that have come up recently. Studylink will also ask for two forms of ID, as well as a bank statement showing your last ten transactions.
Another way to put bread on the table is to come to the VUWSA office on the ground floor of the Union Building up at the Kelburn campus on Wednesday or Friday mornings. VUWSA collects bread from Aro Street bakery and Brumbies, and this is given out on a first-come-first-serve basis—this is always good quality baked bread.
Anyway, that’s it from me for now, I know Steve the editor of Salient possibly wants to kick me somewhere unpleasant, so I must send this to him now.