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What the fuck is the internet?

James Robinson

Online Only


I’ve been busy. But contrary to what Nicola says (wow, how many times a day is that said?) the novelty of blogging will never wear off. Having the ability to use the internet as some sort of mental offal pit will never cease to please me.
Sometimes you just get busy. And the first four issues of this trimester were gargantuan efforts in their own right. I could have written something, but I just didn’t really have any head space or energy. I’m sorry. And given the my legions of fans and gigantic web-readership, I should be. Hey, things could be worse, I could be Mel “Are you a Jew?” Gibson. I’m in a good mood, we’re reasonably ahead of where we usually are for a Wednesday lunch time. There’s over twenty pages in and laid up.
You know what’s not cool though? When your favourite cafe blows out. I’ve been visiting a gem of a place all year. This morning I order my usual Chicken, brie and Plum Sauce on toasted Turkish bread. It takes ages, the guy comes out apologising for the delay but tells me he’s made up for it. You know what I got? A panini, with ham, chicken, bacon, brie, apricot, plum sauce and pineapple. I wanted to throw up. But enough pointless digression.
The internet is a curious place. And since Salient has gone online we have developed a built in community of commenters and a fair level of discussion around the magazine that goes beyond what we can create with a physical copy of the magazine. This week it’s gone through the roof. It’s crazy to see. Blogette is on the forums, spending a lot of time there for someone filled with hate for this magazine, all feisty and shit. She posts from the VUWSA workroom, (kudos to Jeremy for tracing the IP address) so the net is closing around her poisoned tongued pseudonym. The website has fulfilled it’s goal.
Even better is when the website is featured on three web design sites, ranked among the “best designed of the web”. Our hits are spiralling – and yesterday we got over 83,000 impressions on the site. Whatever the hell that means. Even funnier is when yesterday three people were linked through to a feature by Brannavan while searching “big, heavy breasts”, “12 year old fuck pics”, and “young girls having sex”. Awesome.
Another good thing happened today. In the big SPAM survey they do each year, of 825 people surveyed, Salient is 50 percent more popular than the next most popular
VUWSA service. Makes up for a dud pannini.
So… Film Festival action – seen Inconvenient Truth, My Big White Self, Tristram Shandy, Friends with Money, Thany You For Smoking and Linda, Linda, Linda. All of which I enjoyed tremendously. I also saw Factotum which sucks truly, and completely. Everyone should see Thank You For Smoking. It’s brilliant, a truly cutting comedy that takes down lobbyists from both sides.
Am going to resist from any political comment for the sake of personal sanity. I’m reading a book on the American invasion of Iraq. It’s far too intense and my dreams are suffering. I had this dream the other night. I was a fire fighter, sent to Guantanamo for fighting fire unpatriotically. I then escaped with Heath Ledger, who died in the process, which upset dream me tremendously.
Anyway, take care on the internet kids. This Nazi sight published Caroline Prendergast’s details recently. It can be used for bad things. Hell for all you know, I could be a 14 year old girl (hobbies: boys, the mall, listening to Good Charlotte and Hilary Duff).
Something to think about.