Welcome to Josh’s Dank Den of Monthly Student Unionism. I wanna take you to the SFO (serious fun office!)*
Touch-and-go, too-soon, close-to-the-bone jokes about the misfortunes of our fellow students associations aside, it’s the arts issue. While I make no effort to be artistic, I pour my heart and soul into being artful (a la the dodger) every day.
Figure 1: my luring of you into reading this column. Make no mistake: good looks and witticisms aside, I’m still from VUWSA. ‘That old doozy!’ I hear you say, a smile on your face. “Yes,” I reassure you, “this old doozy.”
Okay, back on track. Really, I swear we’re not as placid as you might think. Besides, my self-indulgence is riding at an all-time high and feeds off your readership. In exchange for your continued reading of this column, I promise to avoid dryness; in fact—I pledge to make this as wet as possible (oh ho ho ho, no).
So in an easy show of goodwill, I’ll refrain from regailing you with the goings-on of the association with this half-page. You can find all of that information on our website, in the news pages of this fine publication, and in Bridie’s column should you desire it.
Instead, I use this column with the hope of establishing and continuing, as far as is possible for a social outcast like myself, a genuine rapport with the student body. A revelation: we at VUWSA, contrary to stubborn rumour, are not humourless robots.
Put simply: I hold executive accessibility in high esteem. There’s no use claiming to be representative if students don’t find you approachable in the first instance. While I realise my crassness and failing attempts at humour may repel some of the more fair-minded of our students, I’m quick to reassure that it’s merely attention-seeking; I’m legitimately cherubic over email and in person. Just try me.
As the officer in charge of advocating and lobbying for quality and fairness in education at this University, I am open to hearing whatever it is you have to say. Actually, I get paid (meagrely, mind you) to listen and relay your viewpoint. Good or bad, let me hear it.
avp@vuwsa.org.nz
*Our best wishes to Auckland University Students’ Association, who have been taken to the Serious Fraud Office by students.