Early morning traffic down Kelburn Parade was treated to a luridly decorated VUWSA van this morning. Cunning vandals struck the van last night with shaving cream and crayon. The van, which is parked next to the Kelburn Tennis courts, had slogans such as “I <3 COCK”, “I <3 MY PENIS” and “HI GUYS MAWSA <3 U!!!”, as well as phallic-shaped objects ejaculating shaving foam jizz all over the windows and sides, and a swastika drawn in crayon.
The graffiti was written primarily in cheap shaving foam and crayon and was washed off by VUWSA Office Administrator, Carey Clements. “There was no harm done,” he said, as he doused the van with a bucket of water.
The vandalism comes a day after New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations’ (NZUSA) conference was held primarily on the Kelburn campus. NZUSA Co-President Jordan King was unaware of the vandalism when contacted by Salient, but said he did not think that it was related.
Neither VUWSA President Jasmine Freemantle or MAWSA President Alex Sorensen could be contacted at the time of writing.
A bemused student spoken to by Salient on Kelburn Parade said she was worried about the anti-homosexual connotaions of some of the graffiti. “I’m most worried about the swastika. Why would someone draw that on there?” she said.
The slogans appear to be referencing the incident where VUWSA ex-President Joel Cosgrove wore an “I <3 my penis” T-shirt to last year’s May graduation ceremony. The “$20,000 ONO” is a reference to former President and Education Vice President Geoff Hayward and Reverand Paul “Danger” Brown, who spent over $20,000 on upgrading the VUWSA van.