I find myself surrounded by a crowd of identical girls, each with a hairpiece perched upon her head. In a fit of camaraderie, I buy myself a flashing martini glass filled with what the bartender can best describe as ‘alcohol’. I bravely step up to the doors to have a green band clamped around my wrist while a burly bouncer rummages through my bag. The arena is dark, the crowd gazing awestricken at the silhouette up on stage. I push through to the front, upsetting hairpieces and sunglasses as I go, which the high-heeled, scantily-clad fans frantically fix.
Where am I, you ask? Who would have this effect on me? The ability to turn me into a frenzied fan belongs to one woman, the be all and end all of style, glamour, and the absurd.
You guessed it. Gaga.
What a woman. Together with stylist Nicola Formichetti and creative director Matthew Williams, she has shocked and impressed the worlds of pop music and fashion over and over again. Have you seen the ‘Telephone’ video? Her live show was better. That sexy, slinky, outrageous, egotistic 23-year-old created the most visually stunning show I have ever seen.
Her outfits ranged from a studded leather bikini to wind-swept coif, a sparkly purple thong leotard to a red cape complete with enormous shoulders. She played a burning piano, covered herself in fake blood and spent the entirety of ‘Bad Romance’ lying on the floor. Best hundy dollaz and 12 hours on a bus I have ever spent.
One of my favourite costumes was her motorised white queen fairy outfit; the headpiece and skirt had fans of white glittery fabric that breathed in and out as she was raised up on a platform at the end of the catwalk. Another was a geometric reflective head piece and dress combo, which she wore while encased in a rotating metal orb. The next surprise was a bikini which shot flames from her nipples and pubic region. This young woman’s notoriety is a far cry from the pop artist who opened for the Pussycat Dolls in May 2009. Since then she has collaborated with a myriad of designers for her videos and performances, with her ‘Telephone’ video alone containing a number of custom-made designs, from London-based Fred Butler to Dutch designers Viktor and Rolf.
Don’t like her music? It doesn’t matter. The thing about Gaga is that people, literally, go gaga over the persona she has created. I’m no better; I lapped it up. I cheered my heart out. My hand is now locked in the monster claw position. But you know what; I enjoyed being one of many. Individuality is overrated. Gaga is distinctive enough for all of us.