Marcello Rubini was caught short this week when, in a chance meeting, bumped into Emma Furneaux, a flame from years passed. The two enjoyed four minutes of awkward, well-meaning conversation while Rubini’s good friend Frankie Stout, stood by, un-introduced.
The two made plans to meet again in the coming week to “catch-up” for a “coffee”.
When questioned by Salient Rubini maintained that the two were never “involved in like a sex, like, a sex way, you know, romantically or whatever”, but amateur-historian and self-proclaimed sceptic Stout asserted a different account of the pair’s history.
“He loves her! You can tell! He was like, ‘oh uh uh uh uh hey, yeah nah I’ve been great, haha yeah uhhh totally’ like a chump! Oh my god I’m telling everyone, he was all flustered like a totally rude walrus in a library or whatever.”
Rubini admits that early on in their friendship he had a minor attraction to Furneaux but that their relationship was totally “neo-platonic”.
“She was like to me, how like you might have had a good friend who everyone thought … was, like, or that they thought like, you had a crush on her, but now is more like to me like how … you know my mate Claire? You know how we’re like tight as but just as mates? Like that, totally, totally cool, like a sister. But like a friend obviously. Absolutely nothing going on there back then. Or now! Of course, yeah nothing’s changed, love that chick. But like, yeah, you get it, eh?” the stammering 21-year-old eventually managed to get out.
At press time, Rubini was getting changed and incessantly asking his flatmates if they thought that a shirt was “too much” and if he “had time to shower, or would that even be too much, cause, would she be able to tell and think that he had over done it and think [he] liked her, or something”, followed by a wildly awkward and excessively loud laugh.
The pair are due to meet at 4pm at Duke Carvells today, as it is not too loud or busy but not romantic, as he doesn’t “necessarily” want to suggest a “date vibe”.