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The Tweeks – You Can Listen Too

Tom Baragwanath



A recent NZSM101 Lecture, Hugh McKenzie LT104
Lecturer: Good morning everyone. Today we will be continuing our discussion concerning the composition of average music. Following an examination of the Have principle, in which vacuous lyrical content is harnessed to achieve ultimate pop-rock banality, we will explore the James Reid paradigm, whereby a vocalist with no real singing ability attempts to impress his or her audience by straining their voice as if suffering from a particularly nasty hemmorhoid. This can be more noticeably heard in the “music” of Nickelback. Firstly, however, I’ve brought in a copy of the new album from Dunedin’s The Tweeks, You Can Listen Too. With it’s samey bar chord guitar lines, uninspired lyrical content, and predictable verse/chorus/bridge song structures, this album exemplifies average music in its most recognisable form. Let’s have a listen. (Plays album)
Student: Jesus Christ, is that Jason Gunn on the opening track?
Lecturer: Why yes, it is. How very astute of you. You’ll also notice that after the first 30 seconds of the first song, ‘Some- thing You Should Know’, we find ourselves wanting to skip to the next track out of sheer boredom. Some listeners will find themselves wanting to persevere. Most, however, will just abandon the album altogether within the first minute and go and make themselves some cheese on toast. Cheese on toast with some form of chutney is also an option.
Student: I’ve noticed that the songs seem to be using dull, rehashed lyrical themes. How important is this to the composition of average music?
Lecturer: Very. In particular, note that the third track, ‘Going Nowhere’, features the line “I can’t let you know how I feel, ‘cause I’m scared of what’ll happen once you know.” How many times have we heard content like this in pop-rock relationship songs? Repetition and a lack of lyrical depth are both core tenets of average music.
Student: I disagree with you completely. This album is great, it has good guitar hooks, solid drumming, and is generally full of catchy, well-formed pop songs.
Lecturer: Well… okay, fair enough, there is some evidence of… wait, what’s that under your arm?
Student: Oh…this. Um, it’s a copy of Silencer. It’s my favourite album. Zed rock.