That’s right! Theatre! Awards! Theawards!
Best Use of Giant Cardboard Cityscape—The Arrival
Best Use of Aaron Cortesi in a Wig—Mark Twain and Me in Maoriland
Best Disabled Naked Person—Sophie Hambleton in KatyDid
Best Echo—Darlene Mohekey in Shipwrecked!
Best Adaptation of a F. Scott Fitzgerald Novel—The Great Gatsby
Best Play That Turned Out A Lot Better than You Could Reasonably Assume from Its Premise and Advertising—My First Time
Best Animal—the Horses in Equus
Worst Stage Combat in an Otherwise Okay Play—Mauritius
Best Play Directed By The Writer Of The Salient Theatre Pages—DOORS. WALLS. AND ALSO SILENCE.
Best Play About David Bain—the middle act of The December Brother
Worst Play About David Bain—the rest of The December Brother
Worst Kept Secret—Martyn Wood as new Programme manager at BATS
Best Comedic Mispronunciations—Tea for Toot
Best Use of Balloons—Resolve
Best Yelling Through a Door—Dan Slevin in The Immortal
Best Performance by Andrew Foster in Realtime—Ninety
Best American Accents By Young People—Vernon God Little
Best Rapping by a White Person—Ralph McCubbin Howell in both Who’s Neat? You! and KatyDid
Best Sex with the Corpse of a Hari Krishna—Mitch Tawhi Thomas in Jangle
Best Freaky Child Puppets—Aphelion
Best Emoting—Guy Langford in Wannabe
Most Boring Play—Mary Stuart
Best Play with Palindromic Title—Dog Sees God
Best Play That Should Have Been in Circa Two Rather than BATS—Father Familiar
The “Best International Play” Award for the Best Play from Overseas—TEOREMAT
Best Ralph Upton—Ralph Upton in Elimination Rounds
Second Best Play of the Year—The Guru of Chai
Best Play of the Year—Mark Twain and Me in Maoriland
Worst Play of the Year if Not Ever—Pink Lighter