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Opinion

23/04/2007





1. Words on a T Shirt
2. If Meat is Murder, Then Murder Kicks Ass!
3. I use this as my man rag
4. What’s Irony?
5. Keep it veneREAL

Reasons That Prince William Broke Up with Kate Middleton:
1. She wasn’t inbred enough
2. Not enough hyphens in her surname
3. Her mum works for a living
4. The army is his mistress now
5. She discovered that the Royal Family are blood-drinking lizards from Alpha Draconia
Reasons to Relax the Gun Laws:
1. Bullet manufacturers need to eat, to.
2. Gun culture is still culture, isn’t it?
3. Gun control is the first step towards totalitarianism. Seriously
4. How else will you defend yourself from other people with guns?
5. More guns, less crime. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a godless Commie
Wikipedia articles:
1. Blanket Man
2. Salient
3. Gynecomastia (Bitch Tits)
4. Sex Positions
5. George Duyba
Things Worse than Half a Worm in Your Apple:
1. Gang Rape
2. The Quad Kiosk
3. Waking with your naked sister next to you
4. The new G N’ R lineup
5. You
Things Wrong with 300:
1. Xerxes looking like a reject from Imerst’s drag night
2. The Goatman playing the sitar
3. The Fat Nipple Pierced Sumo with blade hands.
4. The constant nipple shot of the prepubescent oracle.
5. The Continual Dreamy Macho Commentary about how awesome the Spartans were
Torture Methods:
1. The Rack
2. Filing your teeth down to the gums
3. Paper cuts
4. Having to listen to Clint Rickards justify himself
5. Sleeping with Rosie O’Donnell
Ways to Get Famous for Five Minutes:
1. Rock star Supernova, anyone?
2. Get run over by a Chinese tank
3. Sue God
4. Finish Chinese Democracy for Axl
5. Sleeping with Rosie O’Donnell
Best Ways to Die:
1. Auto-erotic asphyxiation
2. Get Run Over By A Chinese Tank
3. AIDS
4. DMT Overdose
5. Sleeping with Rosie O’Donnell
‘80s Rock Alter Ego’s:
1. Vinnie Vincent (Alliterationy)
2. Mick Mars (Hee hee…Mick)
3. CC Deville (He thought he was a super hero)
4. Vanilla Ice (‘Nuff said)
5. Slash (It just sounds hardcore…but it’s not)