It’s a taboo subject. Even saying it raises eyebrows and uncomfortable silences amongst the majority of us.
This topic was raised in my life a couple of weeks ago at a BYO with friends, when during an innocent game of ‘have you ever’ a male friend of ours asked, ‘have you ever masturbated?’ Obviously, the boys drank; openly, and honestly. But us girls shuffled and looked around uncomfortably, until one by one, we began to raise our glasses to our lips. And just like that, the code of masturbation silence had been broken.
Our boys were absolutely shocked, and in the way they get excited about girls hooking up, they were most definitely excited at the tantalising thought of us ‘getting off’ on our finger tips. So, I got thinking, why can’t this be a more open topic of conversation? Why not put the awkwardness aside? Let’s relinquish those feelings of uncomfortable moments when you want to talk to your best friend about that little fingering experience you had last night. Be proud. Tell her you made yourself feel good—because that’s what its all about isn’t it?
Well, let’s take a little walk through masturbation history. This unmentionable subject has been a prominent feature in art for centuries, like Gustav Klimt’s 1916 Woman seated with thighs apart. It’s obvious that masturbation is not a new phenomenon, as I’m sure men and women have been exploring down there since the beginning of time. So why all the silence now? Why be all ‘hush hush’ about something that is as natural as leaves on a tree?
Here’s the thing boys and girls, the health benefits of ‘flicking ya bean’ or ‘yanking the chain’ are endless. Not only is it a stress release, an aphrodisiac, a confidence booster, safer than sex, and a relaxant, but it feels good. Whoever created us decided to give women the glory of a clitoris, with its primary purpose to give us pleasure. In addition, large proportions of girls cannot orgasm during sex and use masturbation as a tool to explore what feels good, and how to improve their sex lives.
So I think it’s fair to say at this point that masturbation is most definitely prevalent in the majority of our lives, but then why the silence? The imbalance between the perception of females and males in society and throughout the media, make it extremely difficult for girls to talk about their self-stimulated sexual encounters as their male counterparts do.
I’ve had mixed responses from students around campus, some open to talk about their personal experiences, and others very coy about what they get up to, some girls completely denying that they’ve ever self-stimulated. I admit, it’s a personal thing. However, what needs to change is the stigma that women shouldn’t talk about it, while men joke and share techniques on a regular basis.
The solution? Firstly, if you haven’t masturbated, I urge you to give it a go. And if you have, maybe open it up for conversation with your closest friends. The next time you’re at a BYO, bring it up—I assure you that the boys will show a lot more interest towards you and your hands.