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Pecking Order




Percentage of Kiwis who support Sue Bradford’s Anti-smacking Bill : 27
Ranking of New Zealand among all countries entering the word “smacking” into Google this month : 1
Approximate percentage by which this exceeds the second highest country entering “smacking” into Google, the United Kingdom : 50
Excessive amount of testosterone a New Zealand baby boy undergoing penis-enlargement treatment was accidentally given by his nurse : 10x
Days after getting this treatment that the boy become angry, developed pubic hair and had painful erections : 1
Average quality-of-life rating researchers assign US children with cancer, on a scale of 1 to 100 : 69
Average quality-of-life rating assigned obese children : 67
Percentage increase in sales of burgers, fish and chips, pies, ice cream, pizza and ethnic foods to Kiwis since 2002 : 88
Grams by which the amount of fat in McDonald’s fattiest salad exceeds that in its fattiest burger : 3
Percentage of New Zealanders classed as obese by the World Health Food Organization : 68
Amount of money the Wellington City Council has spent on catering in the last two years : $123,000
Amount this represents per councilor weekly, if they were the only ones present at meetings : $85
Amount of missing lunch money for which a Kansas City teacher strip-searched 23 third-graders in March : $8
Proposed penalties in fines and months possible spent in prison for streakers, strippers and pitch invaders during the 2011 Rugby World Cup (respectively) : $5000, 3
Percentage loss that streaker Lisa Lewis would have incurred selling her bikini if these laws were in effect now : 125
Amount given to Waikato student Dave Snell from the government to allow him to carry out a study entitled, “The Everyday Life of Bogans: Identity and Community Among Heavy Metal Fans” : $96,000
Rank of Oasis singer Liam Gallagher among public figures most reviled by Britons : 3
Percentage of Kiwis who think that that climate change is hype and is not happening : 21
Percentage increase since 1970 in the amount of the earth’s land stricken by severe drought : 100
Number of hours VUWSA’s former Acting Women’s Rights Officer spent on psychic and tarot hotlines before being fired : 14
Chance that the psychic hotline predicted a blow for feminism in the coming weeks : 0
Minimum number of dates since 1914 that the Jehovah’s Witnesses have predicted as the start of the apocalypse : 7
Rank of “office too hot” among white-collar employees’ most common workplace complaints : 2
Rank of “office too cold” : 1

E-mail Pecking Orders to editor@Salient.org.nz
SOURCES: 1 Colmar Brunton 2, 3, 12, 15, 20 Salient Research 4, 5 Harpers Magazine 6, 7 Dr. Jeffrey B. Schwimmer, University of California, San Diego 8, 14 Stuff.co.nz 9 McDonald’s (Oak Brook, Ill.) 10 World Health Organisation 11 Dominion Post 13 National Security Archive (Washington) 16 NZ Herald 17 Madame Tussaud’s (London) 18 Stuff.co.nz poll 19 UBS/NYC/Harpers Magazine 21 Salient’s resident misogynist 22 Center for Religious Tolerance (Ontario, Canada) 23, 24 International Facility Management Association (Houston)