The World this Week
Dominique Straus Kahn, former IMF Chief, admits attending rampant trans-European orgies. Denies being host.
Over 100 armed police and soldiers quell riots in Balinese prison. Six inmates shot. Schapelle Corby unhurt.
Groundbreaking CERD particle ex- periments claiming to show neutrinos travelling faster than speed of light turned out to be the result of faulty electrical wiring. Scientists are real gutted.
Australian Ex-Prime-Minister and king-of-cuss, Kevin Rudd, announces ፖ plans to get his old job back. Current Prime Minister Julia Gillard admits to being mildly pissed off.
Radioactive contamination from last year’s Fukushima nuclear disaster detected 540km into the Pacific Ocean. World pretends it’s not a big deal.
Western powers promise to get around to considering ending al-Assad’s strangehold on power in Syria. Chats continue.
Romney and Gingrich double-team Santorum in recent US Republican party debate ahead of primaries in Michigan and Arizona. Ron Paul leers from side.
A Timaru women manages to raise $640 for a stray dog on Valentine’s Day. The community is very proud.