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Life Without Facebook

Jono McLeod

Features

30/05/2011





It is seldom in this day and age that you meet someone who does not have Facebook. Even old people are into it now.
But here i am, living and breathing on this page. I exist outside the world of the social networking phenomenon. There’s not many of us here. Most would assume it’s a dark place, void of communication and happiness. They would be wrong.
In fact there is a peace here, a stillness that permeates this world where constant, meaningless status updates do not exist. That is a world that thrived not long ago, but it gets smaller and smaller with every day that passes, and one day it will not exist anymore. That will be a mournful day, but just like death, taxes and student debt, it is inevitable.
Facebook has permeated every facet of life. Whether it is sharing photos, inviting people to a party, playing games to avoid work or telling people what you had for lunch, there is no doubt that it has infiltrated our existence to the point where some human beings cannot even function properly without their daily Facebook fix. What a miserable state of affairs things have become. While people picket G8 meetings about world hunger and global warming, I say that we must fix things at home before we can consider these problems.
How can we be worried about these issues while a much more serious one exists just nine feet away on our computer screens?
Life was much better without Facebook, it was a simpler time. For one thing, you did not have to wait in line at the library to print a forty per cent essay while nigh on one hundred per cent of the students on computers check out the latest embarrassing photos of themselves to be posted on someone’s wall. This has to be the most frustrating thing in the history of the universe. It makes you want to put someone’s head through that computer screen, even if that means you wouldn’t be able to print your essay due to there being no more working monitors. It would be worth it. Wouldn’t waiting for a computer be much less stressful without Facebook?
Furthermore I believe that Facebook will mark the end of meaningful relationships. One of the main positive features of the site that is continually pressed upon me is that it allows people to stay in contact with friends and family who may be overseas or hard to keep in touch with otherwise, in an easy and convenient way. To some extent I accept this, but this is a double-edged sword. My retort to this is that it also helps you keep in touch with people you wouldn’t bother with otherwise. I often hear users complain that someone from their high-school that they never bothered to talk to in five years, despite the fact they sat opposite them in Science, has added them on Facebook. However, they often accept this request of ‘friendship’ and now share their banal life with them via online mass communication. Every Facebook ‘friend’ is therefore situated equally within someone’s life even though you could not care less about some of those people. Facebook is in the business of devaluing friendships as every Tom, Dick and Harry from people’s past is part of their online community of ‘friends’. The ease of communication that Facebook provides creates meaningless relationships, which in turn devalues the sanctity of your meaningful friendships which previously held a more appropriate status.
The most important reason that I do not subscribe to Facebook though, is because of the deep disdain I hold within myself for status updates. People use these to tell others how they are feeling, what they are doing, and myriad other insignificant pieces of drivel. Some have told me that they do not read or use status updates and rather use Facebook for photos etc. But to those who do, your arrogance disgusts me. The fact that you think anybody gives a fuck about your boring life is simply mind-blowing. I know you would like to think people care, but they don’t. And if they do, well then they are just as arrogant and brain-dead as you. The world does not care one bit that you are stressed about assignments or about your life as a hipster. So do everyone a favour and keep that mind-numbing bullshit to yourself.
Nobody can tell me that life is better with Facebook. I much prefer a world where computers are available, being someone’s friend actually means something and annoying individual comments can only be dispersed as far as people can yell. I am not under any illusions that Facebook’s popularity will wane, I can only hope that maybe it’s a fad like boy-bands were in the 90s or spandex was in the 80s and one day everyone will realise their stupidity. Just think about all the time you wouldn’t waste cultivating someone’s cyberspace farm and the embarrassment you would save yourself when certain people witness inappropriate photos or comments that you may or ma*y not have posted yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice?