Greetings be to you, I am requiring of your help. How are your business over there.
In the week that actually was, New Zealand police reported recently that Nigerian scammers have been posing as NZ Organised and Financial Crime Agency representatives and offering to ‘help’ the complete idiots people who have already lost money through their scams. A police spokesperson, Captain Obvious, said the scammers had requested more money to help with the investigations, and added that Organised and Financial Crime officers would never “contact people in this way or ask for money”. The victim in question was reportedly alerted by the “unofficial looking emails, bad grammar and broken English” which presumably was absent from the scam email which initially took her money.
Weight Watchers to partner with McDonald’s
Umm… ‘nuff said really.
Hummer going down, insert blowjob joke here
To the immense disgust of lottery winners and illiterate mainstream rappers everywhere, General Motors is planning to slow down its production of Hummer SUVs after its deal to sell the brand to the Chinese company Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery fell through. Reasons cited for the failure included difficulties with Chinese regulators, proving that the Chinese government knows a shitty deal when it sees one. The attempted sale of Hummer is part of GM’s greater ‘Oh shit, we went bankrupt and Toyota is kicking our asses SELL FUCKING EVERYTHING NOW’ restructuring plan, which also included the sale of Saab, discontinuation of Pontiac, and failed sale of its Saturn brand. The US military dropped its contract deal with Hummer in 2009.