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Inappropriate Erections:




1. Life-Modelling
2. Bathing Nana
3. Delivering the eulogy
4. Born-again Baptist
5. Congo line
Reasons for second-years to hate first-years:
1. No one likes being last year’s model
2. Unwelcome competition for the few shaggable tutors
3. They still have money
4. Their livers are undamaged
5. Every experience is new, leaving them in a constant state of wide-eyed wonder – the bastards!
Substances being sold to fi rst-years as drugs:
1. Paprika
2. Oregano
3. Tic-tacs
4. Dried rabbit poo
5. Mulched copies of last-year’s Salient
You won’t be doing again this year:
1. Reading for pleasure
2. Eating well
3. Spending a week sober
4. Watching junk without feeling the need to intellectually justify or analyse it
5. Sleeping – if you’re an architecture student
Signs you’ve been at Vic too long:
1. You’ve had a $6 pint at Eastside
2. You find yourself agreeing with the mature student
3. You’ve been at a student protest with more than five people
4. You remember Marxism
5. You remember Brunswick