SHOCK JOCK: If humanists were in control of the world how would it be different?
IAIN MIDDLETON: There probably wouldn’t be any wars, (there) wouldn’t be much religion going on.
SJ: What do you think God thinks of humanists?
IM: Well I don’t think there is a God, so no comment.
SJ: But what do you think he would think of humanists?
IM: Well I don’t think there is a God.
SJ: Oh ok, but if there was one what do you think he would have thought about humanists?
IM: Basically humanists don’t believe in the super natural. God is defined as being super natural. Therefore God doesn’t exist, therefore God would not think.
SJ: Oh ok. Are you skeptical of creationism because everyone knows that there is nothing wrong with being naked in Eden?
IM: What?
SJ: Are you skeptical of creationism because everyone knows that there is nothing wrong with being naked?
IM: And that sort of question is nonsense.
SJ: Really?
IM: Yes.
SJ: Why is that?
IM: Well tell me what the sense of a question like that is?
SJ: Oh okay.
IM: Just tell me what it means.
SJ: Well do you think its okay to be naked or not?
IM: Well naked is a condition that we’re born with.
SJ: Yeah. So you don’t think it’s got anything to do with creation? That God created the world?
IM: No of course not.
SJ: Oh okay. Do you think Michael Stipe was right when he said if you believed that put a man on the moon then nothing is cool?
IM: Ha ha, that’s another nonsense question. Get onto something sensible.
SJ: Oh okay. What do you think is sensible?
IM: One and one equals two that’s sensible.
SJ: But why do people believe one plus one equal two?
IM: Look this conversation has deteriorated to nonsense.
SJ: Really?
IM: Yes.
SJ: But how do you know its nonsense?
IM: Because you’re telling me its nonsense.
SJ: I never said it was nonsense, you said that.
IM: Is this a serious interview or what are you talking about?
SJ: Oh well, what’s the most tragic belief you’ve ever heard of?
IM: What is the purpose of your ringing me up?
SJ: Oh I just want to ask about humanism.
IM: Well yes but you’re asking me a lot of nonsense questions you’re not asking me about humanism at all.
SJ: Ok, well what questions would you ask someone who was a humanist?
IM: I don’t see any point in continuing.
SJ: Really?
IM: No.
SJ: Ok thanks anyway.
IM: Okay.
SJ: Bye.