1350 of our nation’s police officers failed a recent fitness test, according to a recent story in the Dominion Post. Too many doughnuts and not enough baton-wielding may have made New Zealand’s top officers too soft. Maybe if they spent more time being cops and less time watching Cops, they might manage to catch someone more elusive than a missing remote control. The stats lends new meaning to the nickname ‘Pig’ really.
Auckland’s police had the most passes, probably because they’ve had the most practice. And although the story didn’t report which regions fared the worst, Wellingtonians will be pleased—or not—to learn that they have at least a 21 per cent chance of encountering an unfit Police officer. Although in all fairness, a lazy police force is matched by a lazy population. Even those people who can be bothered getting off their couches in order to steal someone else’s, probably can’t outlast a senior citizen on a mobility scooter. Cops should just take their most wanted lists down to all the fast food places and keep a look out, they’d probably catch most people that way. No one will believe us when we tell our grandkids that cops used to run around on foot.