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4/09/2016





Going Up

Lisa’s Feta + Baby Spinach with Black Pepper dip. It’s a revelation.
The price of Karori Campus—$10 in 2014, $20mil in 2016.
National treasure Eliza McCartney.
The DCM Book Fair.
Blonde by Frank Ocean.

 
Going Down

Seeing your ex on Tinder.
Minister for the Environment / cow apologist Nick Smith.
The Real Housewives of Auckland. Plz make it stop.
Getting the flu during mid-tri break.
Lyin’ Ryan Lochte.

 
Fake Interview: Beyonce
How does it feel to be the most supreme being on earth?
Don’t flatter me. But for real though male or female it make no difference I’ll stop the world. *world stops*. Carry on. *world carries on*.
Did you enjoy this year’s MTV VMA’s?
It was pretty funny when Drake tried to kiss Rihanna and she dodged it, she can smash windows with baseball bats with me anytime.
Can you tell us who “Becky with the good hair” is?
Helen Clark.
Do you ever miss the Destiny’s Child girls?
Who?
Kanye or Kendrick?
Obama.
How many people helped write Lemonade?
Literally name one person who didn’t.
 
Humdingers
A fisherman in the Philippines has been sleeping on top of one of the world’s largest natural pearls for over a decade. The pearl was hidden under his bed, weighs over 34kgs, and is valued at $137 million dollars.
New York department store Barneys has been criticised for selling “distressed” sneakers for nearly $900. The shoes are deliberately dirty, ripped, and have duct tape covering the front sole. But don’t worry fashionistas on a budget, you can pick up exact replicas hanging on the power lines in Lower Hutt.