A 37-year-old bricklayer has astounded virtually no one by beginning his smoko break ten minutes into the working day.
Barry “Baz” McGurry, a former unemployment beneficiary and self-professed “piss sinkin’ superstar” from Newtown, arrived at Hitchens Construction’s Ngauranga site Monday morning, poured himself a cuppa and proceeded to spend ten minutes yelling about the previous weekend’s Super 14 results to anyone within earshot.
McGurry’s traditional morning ritual was widely regarded as a norm amongst colleagues at Hitchens Construction.
“Yeah, nah, he’s a bit of a character, eh,” said crane operator Richard “Big Dick” Clarke.
“He rocks on up, takes a look at the bricks, nods to himself, then says, ‘Right. Smoko time’ – just like fuckin’ clockwork.”
McGurry, sporting a t-shirt that said ‘I want a wife I can centre fold up and keep in the kitchen’ was unashamed of his daily ritual.
“Fuckin’ oath, I love it. I roll into work half pissed, dick around for a bit, then have a lie down,” McGurry said.
“It’s the fuckin’ business, eh.”
He then proceeded to belch loudly and proclaim, “YEEEEAH BOOOOY!”
McGurry’s manager Stan Wilson expressed a longing for his immobile employee to partake in some sort of work-related activity, but recognised his laziness was not without cause.
“Barry’s had a rough go as of late. He lost his wallet at the pubs, he had court last week for some drink driving thing, and his girlfriend of two weeks, Sharon, left him – literally – passed out on the driveway last Thursday morning,” said Wilson.
“Thursdays is as close to the weekend as any day, so it’d be a bit of a kick up the arse to make a big deal about it.”
When asked by Salient whether he intends to expand his ritual into other parts of the day, McGurry was hopeful.
“Shit, if I take a nap in the storage shed now, I’ll be up in time to knock off. Fuckin’ oath, I’m tired,” he said.