I suppose that makes me uniquely qualified? Although I’d hope Morgan is wrong, it’s true that there are so many false stereotypes and ideas about bisexuals that not many people really know what’s going on.
So here I thought I’d debunk a few, and hopefully clear some things up. So, here goes—Bisexual 101, I hope you all learn a thing or two about us ‘ambisextrous’ types. Enjoy!
Bisexual men don’t exist; it’s one or the other.
Clearly, there’s a major problem with this one. If bisexual women exist, why don’t men? Certainly, fewer men seem willing to identify this way, maybe it’s because there isn’t really any cultural niche for them yet, maybe it’s because New Zealand’s conception of masculinity tends to polarise men into super-straight or super-gay, who knows? What we do know is that this blatant denial of their existence is just silly. Ugly Betty’s Michael Urie feels similarly;
“I’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and if you just met the two of us together we’d be ‘gay.’ But that somehow means anything that happened before [we met] didn’t count—and I don’t feel that way… It felt right at the time. It didn’t work out, but it also didn’t work out with other men—many times.”
All bi’s are just looking for threesomes.
I admit this one is a ‘pet hate’ for me. I don’t go out looking for two partners at a time—the point of bisexuality isn’t to always have a boyfriend and a girlfriend; it’s that the person you want to be with can be either. The confusion is understandable, since so much of our modern media implies this myth. But bisexuality isn’t the same as promiscuity, no matter what Hollywood would have us think! Damn you Basic Instinct.
Bisexuals are just undecided; they’re really gay or straight.
This is quite possibly the most hated misconception by those who identify as bi! With good reason, really. Imagine if you told someone you were 100 per cent straight, and they told you there’s no such thing? It’s strange how even though we’ve moved to the point where most of us can agree that being gay is a legitimate sexual orientation, it’s apparently harder to quantify and accept bisexuality. Hopefully this won’t always be true.
Bi’s are just greedy.
Um, what? Every time I hear this one, I just stare and blink. The idea that all bisexual people are just ‘horny and indiscriminate’ undermines the idea that sexuality is generally something you can’t really change (or at least this is the common scientific consensus at the moment), and is subsequently just downright inaccurate. I think we can agree that this is starting to get into the debate on choice vs. wiring, and since I’m no scientist, I’ll stop here.
So! I hope this helps demystify some of the cultural myths surrounding those of us who hit the middle mark on the Kinsey scale. And, a side note, thanks so much to all who organised and attended Pride Week events! I know I, along with so many others, had an awesome time. Kudos to the UniQ Exec, and screw the bad press. Love you guys lots, and good job.