Hi Constance.
I’m in my late 20’s and in a sexless relationship (my girlfriend is holding out till marriage) and I am constantly surrounded by extremely hot (apparently horny—according to those who write to you) teenage girls at uni. Walking around with a hard-on 24/7 isn’t the most desirable of situations to be in, although making the most of said hard-on with said hotties would be. Short of belting one off every half an hour though, or asking every hot girl I see if she’s (quote Jersey Shore) DTF, how is one meant to go about their everyday business of learning without being distracted by all this filthy-hot pussy?
Dear Douchebag
You didn’t leave a pseudonym, so just roll with it.
The ‘horny’ girls who write in to me may enjoy sex and want advice on the topic, but unless I am missing something, I am pretty sure none of them expressed the panty-soaking desire to sleep with some creepy dude with a girlfriend. Sorry to kill your boner.
Douchebag, please understand I am usually sex positive and I am well aware that ‘creep’ is not a sex positive word. But I really mean it here: you are a giant creep and you need to cut that shit out.
Let me be clear—being ravenously horny is not creepy. Thinking about fucking other people while in a relationship is not creepy. However, while you play yourself the world’s tiniest violin about your girlfriend who is “holding out” (as opposed to, you know, deciding to exercise her right to have sex when she is ready), you’re also scoping out all the other girls around you. And thinking about how you’d like to make the most of your poor lonely boner with them. All the while your girlfriend is presumably clueless. That’s a big tick on ‘creepy’ (and also objectification, dishonesty and general douchebaggery… hence your new name).
You ask how to go about learning without being distracted? Get a personality transplant and quickly. Not only does your girlfriend deserve better than you drooling over all of the hot young girls on campus and thinking about their filthy hot pussies and your permanent boner, you also seem to have some seriously fucked ideas about the women around you.
Believe it or not, Douchebag, hot girls that walk around uni aren’t there for your viewing pleasure. They don’t give a shit about what’s in your pants, or how sex-deprived you are because of your supposedly ‘frigid’ girlfriend. They especially don’t care about how you seem to have created a back story for them—about how they’re teenagers who write into me expressing their innermost desires while flicking the bean, and who would positively quiver at the opportunity to be asked if they’re down to fuck.
It sounds to me like you are one accepted proposition away from cheating on your girlfriend—that is, if you haven’t already. So do yourselves both a favour and be honest with her. Tell her that you are desperate for sex, regardless of being in a relationship with her, and that she deserves much better than someone who sees women as walking vaginas all out to torture him by creating under-utilised erections.
Then, before you involve some other poor girl in your clusterfuck of problematic attitudes, you might want to go and do some deep thinking about how harmful it can be to view women as sex objects (including the ones who “won’t put out”), and how deciding that women are horny based on anything less than a direct expression of their desire to fuck you personally can lead to the justification of fucked-up sexual behaviors including harassment and sexual assault.
In other words, Douchebag, sort your incredibly creepy shit out.