At first glance “Killing Time ‘Til Time Kills Me” looks pretty fucking average. If the cover (displaying a clichéd photo of a ‘pained muso’ holding his guitar, gazing pensively into the distance) isn’t enough to stop you, another major warning sign is the fact that it was recorded at human FM.
Listening to this album was fairly fucking soul destroying to be honest. By track two, ‘I’d Take a Bullet’, I felt vaguely sick, and somewhat violated. I liken listening to this c.d. to being forced to watch a child’s musical performance; you cringe at every high note, feel incredibly uncomfortable and somewhat embarrassed, and then applaud politely before getting the fuck out of there. However there was no escape for me. I was forced to listen to this POC (piece of crap) for over an hour in order to be a fair reviewer. Waste of time.
Admittedly, he is incredibly gifted at the guitar, and has mastered a whole range of styles from ballads, to blues, to country. I’d go so far as to call some of his melodies pleasant, some even warranting the word beautiful. This guy sure knows how to play the guitar. Plus the title of the album itself is excellent. He is also pretty good at the harmonica (although its use is sparse and slow, and the melodies are pretty basic).
Production-wise, the levels were inconsistent, with irksome love ballad ‘You and Me’, starting off really well, then plummeting like a lead balloon once the vocals enter the scene, “serrated edges, of life, fit together in a puzzle”, is far quieter than softer, country track ‘Stuck in Transit’ (shit song too).
But by god, his voice. His gruff, half spoken/half sung vocals could be amazing if he hit just one fucking note right. Seriously – it’s flat, out of time and quite frankly unpleasant to listen to. Added to this, the array of topics he covers (drinking whisky in the wind, moonless nights, Mississippi, women being books to name but a few) are contrived and clichéd. Basically this guy wants to be Dylan. Bob Dylan can sing buddy. If you’re going to waste your money producing a piece of shit like this, you’d think you would have invested in some singing lessons first, unless you want everyone who listens to it to beat the fucking shit out of you for wasting their time and nearly driving them clinically insane.
Album favourite? Hard to say since I could barely listen to one track on this without pulling out all my hair, and grinding my teeth into a throbbing, bleeding pulp (mind you, that would probably be preferable to this incessant torture). However, my top track would probably be the catchy, country classic ‘If Women Were Books’, which, lyrically, was top notch, “Oh ho ho if women were books, if women were books, if women were books/ I never would judge by her cover… I’d read ‘em with a lot more ease/ I’d read her by candlelight, with a bottle of wine on a starlit night… Oh ho ho, if women were books/ That’d be the bees knees”. This track even included a spot of hideously out of tune yodeling, which was fucking painful to listen to.
To be honest, I’m not even sure if this album is serious or a joke. If it is a joke I’m going to be fucking pissed off. Especially because I was driven to the brink of insanity by listening to this POC, and ran from the library in such a hurry that I left my calculator behind.
Jimmy Stearn, you owe me 1 hour of my life back, and a new calculator.
Rating:
T for trying http://www.myspace.com/jivinjames