Though most people read Salient because they’re bored during their LAWS 121 lecture (Kate failed), particularly irate/joyous review readers take out their fury/delight online and let us know they really think. Following are the 20 best comments of the year:
1. Nigel Braddock [in reference to the week Kim reviewed a series of albums based solely on their covers]: “Remind me next time I send CDs through to Salient for review (if there is a next time) that I ask they go to someone who can actually be bothered listening to them. —Nigel from Monkey Records”
2. Samuel Jackenbery: “oh wait no some dude’s review in SALIENT needs to be addressed quick shit where’s that keyboard and mouse at”
3. A very special boy: “I got to every gig to touch girl”
4. Mike the Courier: [in reference to an internet commenter complaining about Elle’s syntax] “Fuckin’ oath, Acclaimed Commentator. When I’m pilin’ on a huge stacka fuckin’ akka dakka, I don’t want some POOFTER CUNT sailing on the fuckin’ HMS Thesauraus and giving me what for. I’ll tell yah how good the fuckin’ new akka dakka album is: it’s fuckin’ cream thighs, sheeli. get that down ya.”
5. Hank Scorpio: “how dare someone lob insults at my mildly successful up and coming underground camp a low hum band”
6. Reptilian: “please never review anything I or my compatriots create.”
7. Matthew: “i never really got into the beatles eh. some of their songs are good, but as a whole, i’d probably rather listen to the back catalogue of husker du or something.”
8. Al Gangbang: “Maybe from now on you can submit fingerpaintings to achieve a new level of sophistication.”
9. Cameron H: “Yeah, Morrissey should have totally put some beats on their album, then it would have been great.”
10. Amy: “Wankiest, most self congratulatory review I’ve read in quite a while.”
11. Little John [in choosing between which of Elle and Maggie’s Lil Pics reviews was better]: “Unsure; they both made me want to stab myself.”
12. Anonymous: “And what is hiding behind those red drapes? Fucken Cuba Kebab.”
13. Kelvin: “Have you heard of a man named Flavor Flav??? … your real racist and the only music you listen to is Beastie Boys”
14. MC Chris: “yo my name is mc chris and yo i can’t get laid”
15. Cam: “fkn hell whts up wth all ths cuntnshit? Kim is a fkn wmns name. Fksake. Get it rght slnt.”
16. MBS: “The Clean were cunts as well.”
17. Dobro Joe: “The ‘Electronic Twang’ You refer to is a slide guitar, played by one of NZs most talented performers.”
18. Butthead: “Shut up Beavis! Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.”
19. Mikey [in reference to Kim’s shiny shoes]: “I would rate the shoes here too but to be honest I didn’t have my welding mask on and therefore couldn’t see them.”
20. Little John: “This is the most incestuous crap I’ve ever read… all of it. Shame on you.”